Why We Should Continue to "Make A Fuss" About Being Queer

June does not only mark the month of the 24H of Le Mans, it also celebrates every member of the LGBTQIA+ community. As a part of this community, I decided to dedicate this month to it and make this blog a bit gay. I invited my queer friends to share their experiences and write about a topic that is close to their hearts.

I am honoured to announce that this blog is going to feature asexual, bisexual, and queer topics and stories over the following month. Alongside, I am going to share LGBT+ book recommendations on social media - you can always snoop the tag here - , and I am almost proud to already have published my review of Joanne Vannicola's memoir. So ...

Happy Pride Month! 


Pride Flag
However, in times of Pride Parades in almost any major city, "Orange Is The New Black", and when I can't legally get fired for being a lesbian, I can hear a cishet person already crease their brows because "why is there even a need? After all, being gay is no longer A Thing today, "stop making a fuss.""

While yes, the Pride Parades are seen in a far more positive light and participation becomes more and more, there is still a demonstration explicitly against this parade on the very same day. Most notably had been Brunei, which decided that it is okay to stone LGBT members and demands tolerance for their decision. While my heart goes out to persons directly affected by this horrible law, I am not directly affected unless I want to go on holiday there.

Even in this modern society a same sex couple is not seen as equal to a opposite sex couple, and often, the devil hides in the details. There are many small gestures that straight people can just do without thinking about it.

A simple thing like changing your Facebook status to "in a relationship" and tagging the other person can becomes a topic of discussion when you're in a same-sex relationship: with whom am I friends on Facebook? Who could say shit about it? When I changed my statues and connected it to my girlfriend, I had just been waiting for a negative reply or a gay joke.

The same applies to chatting to your co-worker about anything not dating related where your other half may come up, and without being prepared you have to deduct what their opinion about LGBT+ might be. If you don't have a conclusion, opt for a gender neutral way of referring to them.

Then there is accepting a follow request by your colleague on Instagram. Sure you don't mind them seeing the 80 photos of your cats but what about the two you took with your girlfriend. Even though, the law has advanced enough that you can't get fired for being queer, nothing stops them from giving you the stink eye or being passive aggressive from now on.

This is the Austrian law, which does not apply to the whole world. One of our future holiday destinations is Azerbaijan, a country that is not going to stop anyone from holding hands, no matter the sex, but is going to turn a blind eye when someone is violent towards the same sex couple holding hands since it has no law against discriminating LGBT people. Thus, you have to quietly consider when it is safe to do so and when not. That's fine because, no matter where you come from, when you are queer you already have that skill anyway.

Being in a same sex relationship does not mean that the reactions are clear cut. It is not either total acceptance and flowers or rampant homophobia. Instead it can be throw-away sentences that the person already forgot, mean looks, and "does this character have to be gay because there are those two TV-shows among 300 who have two gay dead characters. Isn't that enough?"

It makes you aware that the world is just not there yet. These subtle thoughts and issues that LGBT+ people face are something that straight people should be aware of as well.

The next time you hear someone say "why is pride still necessary, it's just a big party nowadays?" remind them that there are small and subtle issues we face. Those are still the reason to wear a little bracelet of your colours, a small pin, go to protest at pride, and be unashamed of who you are and share your experiences to help others.

8 comments :

  1. I love this post! It's a sad truth that not every country accepts homosexuality and that there are still people out there who don't think twice about being homophobic. As you said, sometimes people say things not even realising that they could be considered to be homophobic. Pride is important because people need to be shown that they are allowed to be proud of who they are. Regardless of whether its still a thing or not people within the LGBT community who still deal with hate regardless of whether you personally are or not and it is important to celebrate pride in support of those people.

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  2. Amazing post! I definitely think there's still a very huge place for Pride in today's society. Yes, most people are accepting but there's still elements which need to be challenged. I'm very excited for Le Mans next weekend!

    Jenny
    http://www.jennyinneverland.com

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  3. I just finished reading a book where the main character is gay and it wasn't until after I finished reading it that I realised it was the first time I'd read a book that casually talked about characters sexualities without it being the main focus of the storyline or "I just hadn't met the right man yet so I thought I was a lesbian". It was the most beautiful thing (it also dealt with neurodivergence and mental illness with the same attitude - the characters may experience it but it wasn't the story arc, it was just there with regular meds as casual as a cup of coffee) and maybe I need to find more authors that are better, but it seems to me that until in media - books and tv and movies - sexuality can just be without being a key plot device, that pride is necessary. Because we don't realise how casual and deep set the discrimination within us and our society is.

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    1. I am with you on this one. A book with a gay character where the plot isn't about being gay is very rare but I am always happy to hold one in my hands where that is the case. I think media representation is playing a huuuuge role in how LGBTQIA+ people are seen in society

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  4. Loved this post! I agree, I tend to use gender neutral pronouns when referring to a girl I am dating, especially when talking to straight cis men because I don't want to be harrassed or receive ignorant comments. I also felt the need to hide my sexuality when working in a bar last year as I was scared of being fired. When my boss found out, he didn't fire me at all, but started making jokes about having threesomes and started being really sexual with me (i'm bi). Sure it's not a matter of life and death, but as you said, not everything is resolved and that's why we definitely need to continue making some noise! x

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    1. It sucks that you had to go through this. It already begins that we shouldn't even have to consider if we could get fired for being queer ... but it's also annoying that we have to take the harassment and categorize it in "gosh I could have it worse at least he didn't fire me" .... still a lot of things wrong, but hopefully we're getting there if we keep making noise!

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  5. Such a well written and important post! I think living somewhere where these people are more accepting makes it very easy to forget how much of an issue it still is in other places. It's awful that in 2019 people still aren't accepting and basic things like updating a relationship status can cause such an issue still. Thank you for talking about this x

    Sophie
    www.glowsteady.co.uk

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  6. This is such an important post - pride is so important and I'm so proud that the company I work for has a charity pride boxing fight every year!

    Jessica & James | www.foodandbaker.co.uk

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