Are My Jogging Shoes Out To Kill Me?

And Other Thoughts Before A Race 

When I signed up for the Frauenlauf I hadn't thought a lot about training. I didn't really have the time to become a pumped up fitness girl who can post flexing muscle photos under #instafitness. And yet, I dragged myself to the running shoes regularly. Luckily, this winter I had considered that I might want to keep fit a little bit. So instead of thinking "what the fuck" for a month when I started training, it was only for two weeks. Even I surprised myself when I managed to jog for a full hour after work. After I had run my last jog before the big day, I thought to myself pet yourself on the back, Susanne. For the first time in your life you have kept to the training schedule no matter what. And she was right, I had. When I curled up in bed that day, I felt ready. I was ready!

And so on race day, I rolled myself out of bed with a hopeful face. Just that after I had taken two steps away from the bed my feet collided with something. Before I knew it I was dancing through the room trying to maintain my balance.

"Aeurg," I squeaked eloquently.

Luckily, I managed to stop myself from falling down. I left the situation unharmed. I wiped the sweat off my face, and turned around to make my way to the bathroom. Just that all of the sudden there was a wall.

Again, I had managed to stop just so. Then it began to dawn on me. I turned around, and looked at the attacker from the prior attack. It had been a pair of shoes. Trusty shoes which had been with me to London, Frankfurt and Bratislava. And yet ... they had betrayed me. Treachery. They didn't want me to run.

Suddenly, I became aware of everything! Of the fact that by simply falling over discarded shoes I could have broken a leg. Next I began to worry about breakfast. Usually I consume a muesli with milk, and if I fancy it toast. But then I remembered that you're not supposed to drink any diary products on race days. So I considered long and hard what I should eat for breakfast now ...

Then I knew that I had to slosh a certain amount of water into me. On hot days, I sweat out ~500ml according to Runtastic. So downing my 800ml bottle should do the trick. Just that I thought I'd better be on the good side and decided on a full liter if not a little bit more. Let's ignore that it was actually colder than expected. This tactic seemed to pay off, at least until I was a bit desperate for a wee and had to use a public restroom. Then it really didn't.

This over-thinking, and worrying about every single thing all of the sudden is what I call Pre-Race Paranoia. 
Day of Many Races - but only one involving me 😳
Of course, it's kinda normal to have it. You have trained hard and well, and at the very least want to take part in the race. Suddenly, you start to overthink. Have I taken my starting number with me? Did I have my wee? What if my chip falls off? What if my knee gives in? What if the bus crashes now? This weirdly kicks in because I become aware how fragile a body can be. As if I hadn't pushed it and gotten to know already what I need and can do while training.

Weirdly enough, remembering this has solved my paranoia as well. Of course, I could break a leg and finger by accident, but that's still better than sitting at home and hiding instead of trying. If I recall training I find "fond" memories of tripping and bending my ankle in a direction it's really not supposed to go. But then I simply added 7k - mostly out of spite because I had only just started. If I fall over and can't go on, that's tough luck. And if I fall over and can only go on while having to fight then it will be worth it as well!

In the last eight weeks I have jogged 132 km, and of this day Runtastic records 952,8 of kilometers I put behind me. So I am quite confident that I know what my body can stand, how much water I actually need, and yes, that I can enjoy my muesli for breakfast because I always do. I roughly know where my limits lie, and where they can be bent as well.

Most of all I'll be damned if I let a bit of Pre-Race Paranoia which is convinced that my shoes are out of kill me get the best of me.

As I conclude this, I hope that I am not the only one who has silly and irrational fears before a race ...


  1. Almost up to 1000 km :O !!! Well done for winning against the paranoia.

  2. Congrats for beating the paranoia!! I’m so impressed you can run - I rely on the gym 100% and find running so difficult x

    1. Thank you!

      I am pretty sure that I am not a gym person, all the people around and being stationary in a room ...

  3. Well done on beating that paranoia, I admire you for doing the race #TeacupClub

    1. Thank you and thank you! I was quite happy with the result :)

  4. Good for you! It's funny how your mind starts playing tricks on you right before the big event, but good on you for not listening!

    Also, I'm in awe of you for running close to a thousand kilometers!


    1. Thank you ☺

      And I am surprised by this number as well, with some luck I'll crack the big 1,000 this week *fingers crossed*


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