There Are 50 Books on My To Be Read Shelf And I Don't Have Anything To Read!


I am a frequent reader, and enjoy it. I read things on the internet, sometimes it's not a tweet. Sometimes I crawl around Ao3 and copy the longer fics on my eReader because it's so much nicer to read long fluff on there. This has the side-effect that half of my eReader is a cock-fest.

At the same time I have a To Be Read Shelf. Commonly people have a To Be Read Pile. I have this too, and it sits in front of my Shelf. Every time I finish another book, I sit cross-legged in front of it, and wonder what I could read next ...

Protected by the Door-Stopping Cat Of Wisdom
Picking a new book is always hell! It's awful. Especially if you have so much choice. In my To Be Read Shelf are books from ten years ago, because I simply found something that is better, nicer, and I bought it last week. The other books have waited for so long, they can wait a bit more.

Maybe not the nicest way to go about those things but it's true. Mentally, I always follow one and the same steps:


In which language do I want to read?

Being tri-lingual on a very good day, and bi-lingual on normal days, I always wonder what kind of language I want to read next.
Years ago I used to keep a German-English-German-English system. It was very nice. But then I discovered that somehow I always end up buying the English book.
Sooner than later, this system was not possible any longer because I had five English books and only one in German. The German one was dreadful and boring and about Bratwurst ...

Nowadays, the German books might even hold the upper hand. But only because I never read that one German book and buy a new one each year.

What do I want to read?

Do I want to read a cock-fest? Maybe. A long story of lost love? Something touching? Or about a murderer who eats the eyes of his victims? Well, now that you mention it ...

The last book I read was a collections of column by some fat middle-aged and tall motoring-journalists. So I am not going to chose something similar for my next book adventure.

Then again I have recently bough a whole fresh and new pile of alleged battle-hardened queer love. But since that's the same topic again, and again, the pile is slow going because I will need something different in between.

Maybe I should have a look at the second row? 

Yeah ... and then you decide that the second row is the second row for a good reason.

There are some nice books in there, no doubt. But somehow none of them appeal to me right now. Maybe if I really can't find anything to read. Not even the advertisement on the train which tells me that it only takes 25€ to get to somewhere in Hungary. That shouldn't be too hard, because it only takes an hour by car anyway.

Could the library save the day?

This is especially tricky since I am country trash, and don't want to make a weekly detour to bring a book back and then select a new one. Getting a new one is going to take ages, because all the same problems as they do in my shelf will apply there too! Just that this time some angry librarian is side-eyeing me wondering what I am doing all alone in that row with a slight frown on my face.

Luckily, there is something like an online library which might save the day after all!
This is all fine, because you don't even have to put on trousers to get there. You only need an Internet. If we're being honest, if you don't have an Internet you're fucked anyway. Not in the good way.

The library has saved my sorry arse a couple of times. And it would almost have this time.
But then again, my eReader is currently not with me, because it had to be sent in, and I have a special hatred reserved for reading long stories on a back-lit screen.

I don't know why. I can't concentrate. It feels odd. I can't read it on the train, unless I have a special app on my phone. Then I would have to stare at the phone all the time, it would get hot - unless I am reading something steamy, this refers to the phone - and some annoying message would pop up which I can't be bothered to reply to now because I am reading! But the stupid LED-light keeps blinking ... It's a pain in the anus. Seriously.

What can be done?

The whole business isn't hopeless. It is frustrating, and terrifying. What if you pick the wrong book, but because if you already read 10% and bought it you have to finish it?

No matter what. There is something called a Book Lottery:

It's very simple. You write the titles of the books on your pile or shelf on slips of paper. Then you grab a hat, and shake it all about. Crack your knuckles and fish out a slip.
Congratulations. This is the book you will read now. Have fun.

Another opinion is to let the public chose:
Choices, choices 

For this you have to make a simple pre-choice. Pick five books that you want to read next and ask a friend which you should read.
Or post it on twitter, and let those people choose. Then you'll have the next book.

And if they chose a book where you think "oh dear, actually no" then at least you know which book you don't want to read next. One step closer.

Sometimes I take my pre-choice to my mother and show here the wrong side of the books. This way she doesn't even see the title and it will be a total guess. But it solves the problem.

So what book am I reading now?

I wish I could tell you.

My book lottery is out-dated. My mother is away, and I thought it would be better to write a blogpost about this instead.

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